Beards

Let's talk about "No Shave November".

First of all, I never even heard of this crazy event of hairy-ness until my Junior year of High School (which, in it of itself, is not the fondest memory in my brain's filing cabinet) when my crazy, rude, creepy, jerk-wad of an English teacher went crazy mad about it!

First of all, he never shaved to begin with. And his beard was creepy to say the least.

However, on the first day of November (or the last day of October... I forget which) he walks into class fully shaven and announces to everybody that that day marked day one of this nonsensical holiday of sorts called, "No Shave November", that was somehow supporting some male form of cancer or some other crack-pot crazy thing.

Not saying that cancer is crack-pot crazy.

Just my teacher.

So "No Shave November" already leaves a bad taste in my mouth just remembering my distasteful English teacher, but aside from that I'm just not a beard girl. Facial hair is really something that I do not find attractive on guys in most cases.

So a whole month dedicated to men growing weeds on their faces is supposed to make me giddy with excitement? I'm sorry, but really... watching the entire male population around me turn into cave men is not something I normally rejoice about.

HOWEVER!

There are some men out there that, I have to hand it to them, rock the beard like nobody's bidness. To them, I tip my imaginary hat. I have known friends who have succeeded in maintaning their attractive whilst sporting facial hair, and I have seen celebrities who have managed as well (NOT Brad Pitt, and NOT Michael Phelps *shudder*), but overall... meh.

Future husband? If your facial hair looks like this...

 

...by all means, throw away the razor in November!

BUT... if it under any circumstances (as it normally does) resembles this... 

...or, even worse, THIS... 

 

...for the good of all humanity, SHAVE IT OFF!


!!UPDATE!!
It has been brought to my attention that "No Shave November" goes for girls too...
To this I have three things to say:

1. Hairy legs grow back SHARP and PRICKLY. They get caught in your pants, tights, and sheets, plus they instantly stab every human being they come in contact with.
2. Hairy armpits feel gross, scratchy, and (don't ask me how) make you stinkier and sweatier. Armpit hair = deoderant repellant.
3. The girl-stache? Let's not even go there. And if eyebrows count as well, we're not going to go there either because I really can't handle the hairy nastiness.