The Minute I Decide to Get Behind the Wheel, So Does Every Maniac Driver of the World...

Let me paint a picture for you... four kids innocently decide to pool their money together in order to buy a computer game that they all enjoyed years ago which, to their understanding, they assumed to be no longer available to play.

And on top of this, when they were wee ones they would spend months waiting for new expansion packs to be released, pool their money together, and buy them to add onto the ones they already had... in all, this added up to be five different games (including the original).

So imagine their glee when they discover that the game not only still exists, but is available in a version where all five expansion packs are combined into one.

People.

They were beyond stoked.

However, all of their local stores apparently did not believe in carrying said game, so they had to purchase it online and pick it up at WalMart as soon as it arrived.

And our story begins yesterday morning... the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the oldest sibling of the crew receives a text that their order has arrived and is ready for pickup! Well, she was on her way home from a friend's house and wouldn't be back for another fifteen minutes. What's worse, was that she hadn't showered yet and so her appearance may or may not have called to mind...

...and seeing as she did not want to be responsible for the deaths of billions of people she decided that she'd probably better shower, and fast! So as she's driving down Gilbert (very safely, mind you) the two-lane road merges into one. No biggie, she'd just signal over and slide in between the two cars to her left (in which there was plenty of room). So she signals, and the car in front of her is all, "Dude! S'all cool, you do what you've gotta do sista!" and she's like, "Hey brotha, thanks!"
But the car behind her? Who even knows what was going through that psycho's head, but all of a sudden before this girl begins to merge she hears revving from the car behind her in the left lane. She checks her mirror and this person is literally speeding up so that she doesn't merge in front of it!!! However, everybody is traveling at 45 miles per hour, and the two lanes have just now become one, so this jerk-wad does not have time or space to decide that he/she doesn't want to be merged in front of... but does that stop it from speeding up, getting half into the yellow "in-between" lane, forcing this nice girl slightly off the road, and speeding back into the lane in front of said girl like nothing ever happened...? You bet it didn't!
And the worst part of this story isn't even that this driver could have seriously injured someone, or that they ended up just entering a neighborhood not even 100 feet later, or the ethics behind the whole situation... no, it's that when the car was driving past her and she turned to the side to identify this maniac, the driver looked something like this: 

A freaking granny?!? Are you kidding me?!?

 So, after recovering from this episode and getting ready for the day this girl grabs her car keys and races to pick up her little brother from school. She only had limited time to pick up him and the game waiting at WalMart before work that afternoon and she intended to make the most of it! Picking up her brother? Piece o' cake! Depositing a check at the bank? You betcha! Picking up the game from WalMart quickly? Not in a million years. The problems began when they were attempting to exit the bank parking lot, cross the intersection, and get into the WalMart parking lot, starting with the fact that it was practically impossible to turn left! As soon as one direction of traffic would die down the other would immediately pick up, and of course this girl and her brother were the ones at the front of the line of people trying to turn.

And it's terrible, right? Because not everybody in the whole line can see what's going on... all they know is that some jerk in the front of the line won't go and that they've got somewhere to be and absolutely no time to wait for this moron! ...and I HATE having to be the moron! (especially when it isn't my fault, you know?)

So finally this girl decides that things will be a whole heck of a lot easier if she just turns right, and flips a U turn... so she does! And do you know who else decides that this genius girl's idea is worth trying out? The two old Indian ladies in the mini van behind her. Except when she looks back in her mirrors they don't seem very grateful to her for her brilliant solution to a frustrating problem... they seemed pretty peeved. But she pays no mind. After all, it's their problem - not hers - that they choose to be annoyed... that is, until they decide to be old lady driving maniacs just like the one before!!!

Before this girl knows it, she is in a similar situation as she was before, except this time her younger brother was there to witness it! She signaled over to get into the left turn lane, she checks her mirrors (all is clear), she begins to merge over and all of a sudden she hears this horn BLARING behind her and it is the two crazy old Indian women trying to keep from getting merged in front of... because supposedly when they saw this girl signal, the only logical thing in their mind to do was to merge over as well and make it impossible for her to remain driving in front of them!

I mean really... we ought to get hobbies for these crazy old women driving cars in Chandler because the road rage is getting to be a bit much! The good news? Everyone survived (unless one of those ol' timers had a heart attack afterwards from the excitement... yikes...) and the game was retrieved in good time (though I was a bit tardy to work... darn) and we are all re-living our childhood...

Well.. at least I am. ;)