Some dreams... are weird. Like when you dream that you're riding an elevator with a turtle wearing a top hat and the elevator takes you to Neverland where Jack Sparrow and the Cheshire Cat are arm wrestling on the Mayflower.
Other dreams... are bad, just bad. Like when you dream that you've shown up late for your math exam, run in gasping, sit down for the test, look down and realize that you're stark naked (...or worse, that everybody ELSE is stark naked).
And some dreams are just so inexplicably wonderful and everything about it is awesome and for me, that dream happened last night! :)
I think for Valentines day my brain decided to reward my singledom with a gift... because in this dream, I totally dated Taylor Lautner (and got two puppies). *fist pump*
Shall I explain? :)
~~~
Our dream begins in a car... I was at work. I was driving a child that I had been working with home after a long day and we were getting pretty close. We DEFINITELY weren't living in Arizona because the whole landscape was green and ever so slightly muddy from a rainstorm that had happened a few days earlier. There was forest around and the roads were dirt roads (but nice ones). Goodness it was beautiful.
So we were driving and we looked on the side of the road and saw two little Brittany Spaniel puppies just a chillin' by themselves. They looked lost and cold so I pulled over. I was driving a covered truck, so I opened the back and they piled right in. So there I was driving with the windows down, letting the puppies put their cute little faces in the wind when I was driving down the road and I looked over and saw a guy driving next to me. He looked kind of scary and had two dogs of his own hanging out the window, so instead of focusing on his scariness I decided to focus on his two cute German Shepherds.
So anyway, his car goes his own way, and my car goes my own way. The two brittany puppies managed to climb up front and at this point were all snuggled on my lap... I was in puppy HEAVEN!
We arrive home, the little boy jumps out all excited to tell his parents about the puppies, and the little boy's dad turns out to be some kind of veterinarian and tells me to bring the puppies over. I do just that and after evaluating them he tells me that they need to rest/recuperate from living on the streets but that after that they'll be mine... WHAT WHAT!!! I'm beyond elated, at this point in the dream I would have been perfectly happy to wake up...
...thank goodness I didn't though, because my movie of a dream was just about to get good!
So after dropping off the puppies and the little boy I started to head back to my car, and who should be there waiting for me but the scary guy driving the car with the german shepherds earlier. All of my self defense knowledge came into my mind at once and I started trying to figure out how I would get to my car so I could get the heck out of there. This guy was big though... like, built big. He was tan, had short cropped hair, a scar on his face, and was muscuuuuular! Like a more gruff native american version of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Anyway, this guy was leaning up against my car just waiting for me, and before I could put any of my self-defense plan to practice, he and his goons jumped me! Two equally scary guys (but not quite a freaky muscular as their leader) jumped out of the bushes, scratched and tied me up, strapped me onto their backs, and ran away with me into the forest!
What?!? But my car! My puppies! What would become of me?
Well they ran through the forest with me and I was more confused than anything. How on earth could these guys run so fast, and with a woman on their backs no less? What on earth did they want with me? I had never seen them before in my life, who were they? And where in the world were we going, there was nothing here but forest!
Or so I thought...
No sooner had I thought that to myself did we happen upon some kind of base camp for scary muscular guys. They arrived with me all tied up and all of their friends started hooting and hollering. I was confused to say the least. The guys that had me threw me on the ground and their buddies started coming over to look at me. I had gotten pretty scratched up by them when they jumped me and all of their buddies seemed pretty interested in them.
Okay... I had been confused when we arrived at base-camp goonsville, but not I was BEYOND confused! Why the heck were they so concerned with my scrapes? It was weird to say the least.
And then I look around the camp. There a bunch of tepees set up all around the camp in a big staggered circle with a big camp fire in the middle. The fire had been put on and the only thing left of it was a few smoldering logs and big of smoke rising up out of the pit. All of the trees had been cleared for this spot, but there weren't any stumps to be found... it was as if they had been ripped out of the ground. But how was THAT possible? How was any of this possible?
And suddenly it dawned on me, they must be werewolves!!! (...because apparently in my dream werewolves were an obvious option... not gang bangers, not drug dealers... werewolves of course!)
At that point I began to calm down just a tad... after all, I knew what my assailants were now. No need to worry, right?
And suddenly I spotted someone emerging from one of the tepees. With all of the excitement happening in the camp, nearly every single one of the scary, buff werewolf men had come to see what all of the hullabaloo was about, and one of them just happened to be Taylor Lautner, all Jacob Black style...
...okay, this dream just went from good to great. :)
As soon as he saw me he went pale and sprinted over to where I was sitting on the ground (because I was still tied up, mind you). He got over to where I was, pushed the other guys aside, and started asking me if I was okay. Apparently we were bosom buddies? I didn't argue with the man, I just rolled with it!
I told him that I was okay, just a little scratched up... scratched up?
He flipped.
And just as soon as he started having his werewolf tantrum, I was scooped up by another scary werewolf man and taken away. T-Lautner didn't like that either and started fighting his way through the throng of his werewolf brethren to get to me.
Now let me just say right now that NONE of this made sense to my dream self while in this dream. I kind of just shrugged it off, realized how cheesy and Twilight-esque it was and went with it. I mean, I was surrounded by scary but beautiful men, one of which was shirtless and madly in love with me... sounds legit. :)
So the next chunk of the dream was a bit of a blur. All I know is that they untied me and the Schwarzenegger werewolf leader came in and gave me some scary and intimidating speech about how I was a werewolf now and that to prove myself I had to pass their test, and that if I failed they'd have to kill me... or something along those lines. :)
And then they left me in the tepee all alone to process everything that had just happened. I was driving home from work, I had found two puppies, I was jumped by three werewolves and now I was one of them? Oh yeah, and apparently T-Laut and I were the best of friends.
And speak of the devil, guess who (at that precise moment) came bursting through the door (or... flap I guess?) of the tepee? T-Laut rushed in and hugged me and asked me if I was alright, what they did to me, if they had hurt me.I assured him that I was fine, just confused, but he didn't let me go. At first I was a little weirded out and fought it, but after a bit it was clear that he didn't plan on letting go anytime soon. I shrugged and let myself melt... it was AWESOME! So after the T-Laut bear hug came the T-Laut protective pep-talk. He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me square in the eye and told me exactly what was going on.
Apparently when a werewolf scratches you, you become one. Now, my "powers" were still new and I would have to learn how to use them, but the process was brutal. Like an overly-intense basic training for werewolves that you wouldn't survive if you weren't the cream of the crop. Okay... that did sound kind of scary. I didn't know what to tell him other than that I thought I could do it, but that didn't satisfy him. He took my face in his hands and promised me that he had my back and that as long as he was there nothing bad would happen to me (at least... nothing ELSE bad would happen to me).
Boy it was wonderful! I ate it up like a twelve year old girl. :)
The basic training was even more brutal than I thought it would be, but every time I started looking like I wasn't going to make it, T-Laut in wolf form would always hop in and get me through it, or distract the mean Schwarzenegger wolf from seeing me being "weak".
He rocked.
The day before my basic training graduation I walked out into the forest by myself. Guess who followed me? There I was taking in everything that had happened (by this time I was TOTES playing along with the barf-y Twilight drama... it was fantastic) and there was beautiful T-Laut who came up behind me and teased me for being nervous. He told me that I had done great and that there was no way I wouldn't pass my big test the next day (some kind of ritual to prove my werewolf-ness of something). We laughed and played around, and finally I asked him why he had been helping me so much.
This is where it gets disgustingly mushy and GREAT! He came up to me and gave me some ooey wonderful speech about being my best friend and having my back and protecting me to the ends of the earth (you know how it goes). At this point I was tempted to pat him on the cheek and be like, "Well thanks man... that was swell of you, peace out!" and get the heck out of there! However, I felt a possible climactic kiss coming on and I needed to stick around to see if I was right (I was just as much of a spectator in all of this as I was a character). Sure enough, at the end of his speech he declared his undying love for me, pulled me in, and the T-Laut most romantic kiss EVER happened. I'm certain that if this were a real movie that it would have gone down in history as one of the most beautiful kisses of all movie-dom.
So there I was, kissing T-Laut's face, when all of a sudden I heard something. Voices? In the distance? They sounded familiar...
"Grant! Where is the toothpaste?!?"
Oh no! I was waking up! This couldn't be happening, I still hadn't proved myself to the pack! And I was making out with a Jacob-Black-esque Taylor Lautner! It was too good to end now, but the voices kept coming. I heard bits and pieces of conversation between my two brothers getting ready for school, and little by little I started feeling myself fade away. GOODNESS was it disappointing waking up and not having a smokin' werewolf kissing partner anymore... or any werewolf powers... or my two cute puppies from the side of the road.
I'm aware that I sounded like a twelve-year-old Twilight freak (which is funny, because there is nothing MORE OPPOSITE of what I really am) but I don't care... that may have been one of the GREATEST dreams of all time.
Happy Valentines Day I guess, right? ;)
Or so I thought...
No sooner had I thought that to myself did we happen upon some kind of base camp for scary muscular guys. They arrived with me all tied up and all of their friends started hooting and hollering. I was confused to say the least. The guys that had me threw me on the ground and their buddies started coming over to look at me. I had gotten pretty scratched up by them when they jumped me and all of their buddies seemed pretty interested in them.
Okay... I had been confused when we arrived at base-camp goonsville, but not I was BEYOND confused! Why the heck were they so concerned with my scrapes? It was weird to say the least.
And then I look around the camp. There a bunch of tepees set up all around the camp in a big staggered circle with a big camp fire in the middle. The fire had been put on and the only thing left of it was a few smoldering logs and big of smoke rising up out of the pit. All of the trees had been cleared for this spot, but there weren't any stumps to be found... it was as if they had been ripped out of the ground. But how was THAT possible? How was any of this possible?
And suddenly it dawned on me, they must be werewolves!!! (...because apparently in my dream werewolves were an obvious option... not gang bangers, not drug dealers... werewolves of course!)
At that point I began to calm down just a tad... after all, I knew what my assailants were now. No need to worry, right?
And suddenly I spotted someone emerging from one of the tepees. With all of the excitement happening in the camp, nearly every single one of the scary, buff werewolf men had come to see what all of the hullabaloo was about, and one of them just happened to be Taylor Lautner, all Jacob Black style...
...okay, this dream just went from good to great. :)
As soon as he saw me he went pale and sprinted over to where I was sitting on the ground (because I was still tied up, mind you). He got over to where I was, pushed the other guys aside, and started asking me if I was okay. Apparently we were bosom buddies? I didn't argue with the man, I just rolled with it!
I told him that I was okay, just a little scratched up... scratched up?
He flipped.
And just as soon as he started having his werewolf tantrum, I was scooped up by another scary werewolf man and taken away. T-Lautner didn't like that either and started fighting his way through the throng of his werewolf brethren to get to me.
Now let me just say right now that NONE of this made sense to my dream self while in this dream. I kind of just shrugged it off, realized how cheesy and Twilight-esque it was and went with it. I mean, I was surrounded by scary but beautiful men, one of which was shirtless and madly in love with me... sounds legit. :)
So the next chunk of the dream was a bit of a blur. All I know is that they untied me and the Schwarzenegger werewolf leader came in and gave me some scary and intimidating speech about how I was a werewolf now and that to prove myself I had to pass their test, and that if I failed they'd have to kill me... or something along those lines. :)
And then they left me in the tepee all alone to process everything that had just happened. I was driving home from work, I had found two puppies, I was jumped by three werewolves and now I was one of them? Oh yeah, and apparently T-Laut and I were the best of friends.
And speak of the devil, guess who (at that precise moment) came bursting through the door (or... flap I guess?) of the tepee? T-Laut rushed in and hugged me and asked me if I was alright, what they did to me, if they had hurt me.I assured him that I was fine, just confused, but he didn't let me go. At first I was a little weirded out and fought it, but after a bit it was clear that he didn't plan on letting go anytime soon. I shrugged and let myself melt... it was AWESOME! So after the T-Laut bear hug came the T-Laut protective pep-talk. He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me square in the eye and told me exactly what was going on.
Apparently when a werewolf scratches you, you become one. Now, my "powers" were still new and I would have to learn how to use them, but the process was brutal. Like an overly-intense basic training for werewolves that you wouldn't survive if you weren't the cream of the crop. Okay... that did sound kind of scary. I didn't know what to tell him other than that I thought I could do it, but that didn't satisfy him. He took my face in his hands and promised me that he had my back and that as long as he was there nothing bad would happen to me (at least... nothing ELSE bad would happen to me).
Boy it was wonderful! I ate it up like a twelve year old girl. :)
The basic training was even more brutal than I thought it would be, but every time I started looking like I wasn't going to make it, T-Laut in wolf form would always hop in and get me through it, or distract the mean Schwarzenegger wolf from seeing me being "weak".
He rocked.
The day before my basic training graduation I walked out into the forest by myself. Guess who followed me? There I was taking in everything that had happened (by this time I was TOTES playing along with the barf-y Twilight drama... it was fantastic) and there was beautiful T-Laut who came up behind me and teased me for being nervous. He told me that I had done great and that there was no way I wouldn't pass my big test the next day (some kind of ritual to prove my werewolf-ness of something). We laughed and played around, and finally I asked him why he had been helping me so much.
This is where it gets disgustingly mushy and GREAT! He came up to me and gave me some ooey wonderful speech about being my best friend and having my back and protecting me to the ends of the earth (you know how it goes). At this point I was tempted to pat him on the cheek and be like, "Well thanks man... that was swell of you, peace out!" and get the heck out of there! However, I felt a possible climactic kiss coming on and I needed to stick around to see if I was right (I was just as much of a spectator in all of this as I was a character). Sure enough, at the end of his speech he declared his undying love for me, pulled me in, and the T-Laut most romantic kiss EVER happened. I'm certain that if this were a real movie that it would have gone down in history as one of the most beautiful kisses of all movie-dom.
So there I was, kissing T-Laut's face, when all of a sudden I heard something. Voices? In the distance? They sounded familiar...
"Grant! Where is the toothpaste?!?"
Oh no! I was waking up! This couldn't be happening, I still hadn't proved myself to the pack! And I was making out with a Jacob-Black-esque Taylor Lautner! It was too good to end now, but the voices kept coming. I heard bits and pieces of conversation between my two brothers getting ready for school, and little by little I started feeling myself fade away. GOODNESS was it disappointing waking up and not having a smokin' werewolf kissing partner anymore... or any werewolf powers... or my two cute puppies from the side of the road.
I'm aware that I sounded like a twelve-year-old Twilight freak (which is funny, because there is nothing MORE OPPOSITE of what I really am) but I don't care... that may have been one of the GREATEST dreams of all time.
Happy Valentines Day I guess, right? ;)
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