What You Don't See

Isn't it interesting how social media has enabled us to turn into something we aren't?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everybody on social media is a pathological liar, or fake, or "unauthentic" (Instagram's favorite new word)... but let's be real. I'm not going to take a picture of my dirty dishes that are piled a mile high and my baby's three poopy diapers that are sitting on top of our toilet waiting to be rinsed and hashtag it #ThisIsTheLife

And neither are you.

Because that would be crazy.

We share with the world what we want the world to see, and we don't want the world to see the dirty laundry, and the poopy baby, and the dinner that totally sucked, and the cat who threw up on the rug, and the legs you haven't shaved in weeks.

We want the world to see the parts of us that are good! We want our friends to share with us the tiny successes of the day so that in the moments where life sucks again we can turn to our phone, see our notifications and be reminded that that healthy smoothie you made for breakfast did look good! And that your baby did look adorable on the swings! And darn it, your makeup is on point today! Or, at least is was when you took that selfie... ;)

But here's the thing... in choosing to only let others view our lives through tiny, heavily filtered windows, we inadvertently crop out the things that make us real. We edit out everything that makes our peers say, "Hey... me too..." and turn it into a, "Hey... but not me..."

While I'm sure most of us never intend to advertise our lives as being perfect, we try to reassure ourselves that they are as good as, and we then paint a very dangerous picture of what the world will begin to identify us by.

It isn't real.

And there's so much that other's don't see.

You see, when I post a picture like this:

 You see my little girl looking adorable. You see her smiling, and soapy, with a little curl on top of her head and it looks like we're all just about to start dancing and singing because we're a big happy family and that's what we do during bath time.

Here's what you don't see.

The first five photos I took trying to get her to look at me, much less smile at me. And speaking of which, you don't see the dance moves and faces I had to make to get her to smile like that... nobody should see that... You don't see the dirty diapers in that green wet bag over there in the corner (for shame... I didn't crop quite enough!), and our vanity overflowing with hair products and toothpaste containers and makeup, or the kitty's litter box that's most likely ready to be cleaned. You don't see how angry that sweet girl got when it was time to take out her pony tail, or how much she fought getting her hair washed.
You don't see any of that.
But those are the parts that are real.

What you see here is a mom who's so on top of her exercise routine. And not only that, but she's doing it with one of those trendy baby wraps. Her baby is wearing some kind of adorable floral print outfit and according to the caption it's a cool 65 degrees outside... I bet she doesn't even sweat.

Here's what you don't see:

In the (almost) month that she has lived here this has been the one and only time that she has gotten out and exercised like this... come to think of it, this has been the only time that she has gotten out and exercised like this since the baby was even born! And that cute floral outfit? You don't see that those are actually jammies... as in the jammies that she slept in the night before. Because it was too much work to exercise AND get the baby into a decent outfit all before naptime. You also don't see the meltdown that happened moments before this picture was taken because she had the audacity to try and take a drink out of that water bottle the baby is guarding so feircly. You don't see that that baby didn't let that bottle go for nearly the entire walk. Or how sweaty that mom was by the end of it. You didn't even see that mom's face, with no makeup, and unsure of how to smile for a selfie.

(seriously... how do you selfie???)

You didn't see any of that.

But that's the stuff that's real.

 

That's the stuff of life.

The poopy diapers, the sticky floors, the sweat, the fresh face, and the silly "please smile for this picture" dance.

The stuff of life includes the bad with the good, mixes it up like a nice little salad, and serves it to you in a big ol' dish.

We can choose to pretend we don't have beets or spinach in our salad, but we won't be fooling anybody....

Or worse.. .we will.

When did admitting we aren't perfect become so taboo?

My name is Jadyn and I can say with full confidence that my dishes are dirty, my kitchen floor is covered with pieces of my baby's dinner that she chucked to the floor, my hair is at an awkward "growing out" length and most likely will be for the next year, and I live in a strange new place where I'm still trying to figure myself out.

And that's okay.

Because my life is filled with so much good.

So much good and so much love.

And I know that yours is too.